Scatterbrain

So instead of doing "normal" productive things i'm sitting in the same spot i'm always sitting in. Stuck in my man-cave; Scatterbrain as always, jumping from thought to thought, straining my head to try and figure out thing that are out of my control. I want what I want and I want it now, the more I try the harder it gets. I'm blessed to have the few people in my life that keep me sane and actually care but seem to disappear when i need them most. At the end of the day I just want to be able to say i'm happy, content with life, and loved. I miss love, not the friendship or family kind, I want the serious kind. I'm at a point in my life where i'm realizing the only real thing you have in life is love, happiness, and having an all-around good time.  I know what I have to do to get where I want to be, i'm taking the steps. Just so many distractions and taking way to long. I ask for a lot but i deserve it, i bust my ass to make people happy when i don't usually get the same in return. Life is too short and I am to young to stress the way I do, I hate the cravings, I hate that everytime I get overwhelmed by the little things I want to escape with a little white pill. I'm growing everyday, trying not to repeat the insanity that is my life. I need the pieces to fall into place, i'm ready. I just keep repeating it will get better and i'm sure it will. Life is what you make it and i refuse to feel like this, i need security and stability, sick of people coming and going (even though I do it myself). I've had a long weekend, emotions were up and down like a roller coaster kind of like me and this thing you call a blog. No more emo posts after this, i'm over it. Make me happy or get the fuck out of my way, call me selfish, hate on me (cause i fucking love it), just make sure you know your fucking with. I wear my heart on my sleeve and people mistaken my kindness for weakness (not any more). If you got this far you have no life, you just wasted a few minutes of your life, kill yourself.