Scatterbrain

So instead of doing "normal" productive things i'm sitting in the same spot i'm always sitting in. Stuck in my man-cave; Scatterbrain as always, jumping from thought to thought, straining my head to try and figure out thing that are out of my control. I want what I want and I want it now, the more I try the harder it gets. I'm blessed to have the few people in my life that keep me sane and actually care but seem to disappear when i need them most. At the end of the day I just want to be able to say i'm happy, content with life, and loved. I miss love, not the friendship or family kind, I want the serious kind. I'm at a point in my life where i'm realizing the only real thing you have in life is love, happiness, and having an all-around good time.  I know what I have to do to get where I want to be, i'm taking the steps. Just so many distractions and taking way to long. I ask for a lot but i deserve it, i bust my ass to make people happy when i don't usually get the same in return. Life is too short and I am to young to stress the way I do, I hate the cravings, I hate that everytime I get overwhelmed by the little things I want to escape with a little white pill. I'm growing everyday, trying not to repeat the insanity that is my life. I need the pieces to fall into place, i'm ready. I just keep repeating it will get better and i'm sure it will. Life is what you make it and i refuse to feel like this, i need security and stability, sick of people coming and going (even though I do it myself). I've had a long weekend, emotions were up and down like a roller coaster kind of like me and this thing you call a blog. No more emo posts after this, i'm over it. Make me happy or get the fuck out of my way, call me selfish, hate on me (cause i fucking love it), just make sure you know your fucking with. I wear my heart on my sleeve and people mistaken my kindness for weakness (not any more). If you got this far you have no life, you just wasted a few minutes of your life, kill yourself.

On the Continuous Pursuit of happiness

In this crazy, unstable, imbalanced world people come and people go. Nothing is certain but death and taxes but what about love and friendship. As far as i'm concerned life is what you make it, $$$ matters but it won't bring happiness either, you can't change the past; for instance ex's, stupid things you've done wrong, everything. Nothing matters now, move-on grow up, or keep making the same mistakes over and over (btw that's the definition of insanity). I'm grown, i'm getting old, i'm slacking but not on the parts that matter to me. I'm not perfect nor know everything, it's just Me Being Me, I am Loved and Hated but I don't give a fuck as long as you keep my name in the back of your head or even better out your mouth. INFAMOUS. Call me emo but i wear my heart on my sleeve and i can't bite my tongue, i'll never sugar coat shit I just shoot straight from the hip. I am such a mess but together we can make a beautiful mess.
No more games, take it or leave it. 
I'm ready for a real relationship.